November 2017

Article 605


Welcome to another installment of my blog Batts Outta Hell. For those of you who are new to my blog, I’m a stand-up comedian and actor based in Toronto and when I get really wound up about something I take it out on my blog. The last piece I wrote was an open letter to the [...]

May 2017

The Knitterati


Darlings of the Knitting community - Mary Crochet and Gerry DiLana - make a deal with a mobster they can’t repay. Two worlds collide and everything unravels. A new comedy short featuring award-winning comedy duo Phil Luzi & Sandra Battaglini.

July 2016

May 2016

October 2015

Barely There


Before I became a comedian I was in the marketing and ad business. I wanted to do something creative and decided that marketing just might be the thing. Well sorta, kinda, not really. There was a shit tonne of passive aggressive behaviour firing off in all directions which the business world is predicated on. Don’t [...]

December 2013

To the Leslieville Mom who called me a Fat Cunt on Halloween


It was a lovely Halloween day in Toronto. The city was a buzz with official news from Toronto Police Services that they were in possession of a video of our adorable mayor just doing his job. In this instance it was connecting with his constituents who just so happened to be a couple of drug [...]

Bring This Season to Life with Febreze Till Death do us Part


I used to use Febreze like a maniac. I’d spray my couches, my curtains, the carpets, smoky blouses and of course the AIR.  Oh the air, how it gets tainted by life. Whatever fabric I could find, I’d Febreze it. I febreezed with the kind of zealousness usually relegated to a Jehovah’s Witness or a [...]

The Evil Cross Eye


The Evil Cross Eyesandrabatt: On Friday November 30th at approximately 4:30pm I went to the Longo’s in Woodbridge at Rutherford and Clarence to buy bacon. We were making Caesar salad for my mother’s birthday and we like to keep things fresh. I don’t know what it is about the ‘Bridge’ but it makes me want [...]


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